Dents, dings, and depressed

I think shortly after I posted in March, things started to unravel for me.  Isn't that just how it goes though?

It's been a rough patch for me.  Not anything too incredibly huge or earth-shattering to really topple me over.  But lots of dents, dings, and little things that just kept coming.

A passing comment on an online forum about "a big girl" showing up to exercise after a workout I did with one of my coaches....ouch.

The high-fiver who treats me like a high school boy he coaches rather than a woman he could respect.

Getting sick for 12 days around Easter...I had no idea 30-somethings could get ear and sinus infections.

Going to Michigan over my birthday and having my niece ask me "Why did you move to Colorado?" And having a really hard time coming up with a good reason.  (It was a great visit home.)

Getting matched with a 37 year old "man" who turned out to be jobless, homeless, and eats out of trash cans. *sigh*

The realization of being 34...

...and also realizing I needed to go back on my anti-depression medicine.  A hard pill for me to swallow.

Life felt "perfect" before this...and yet, it wasn't enough.  I wasn't enough.  And I found myself asking, "Why even try?"  And thus the pendulum has swung back to the depressed, lonely, food-medicating, not exercising, and other self-medication side of life.  Shame has set in and set up camp.

I can't even bring myself to let Jesus in.

Pray friends, pray.