I think shortly after I posted in March, things started to unravel for me. Isn't that just how it goes though?
It's been a rough patch for me. Not anything too incredibly huge or earth-shattering to really topple me over. But lots of dents, dings, and little things that just kept coming.
A passing comment on an online forum about "a big girl" showing up to exercise after a workout I did with one of my coaches....ouch.
The high-fiver who treats me like a high school boy he coaches rather than a woman he could respect.
Getting sick for 12 days around Easter...I had no idea 30-somethings could get ear and sinus infections.
Going to Michigan over my birthday and having my niece ask me "Why did you move to Colorado?" And having a really hard time coming up with a good reason. (It was a great visit home.)
Getting matched with a 37 year old "man" who turned out to be jobless, homeless, and eats out of trash cans. *sigh*
The realization of being 34...
...and also realizing I needed to go back on my anti-depression medicine. A hard pill for me to swallow.
Life felt "perfect" before this...and yet, it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. And I found myself asking, "Why even try?" And thus the pendulum has swung back to the depressed, lonely, food-medicating, not exercising, and other self-medication side of life. Shame has set in and set up camp.
I can't even bring myself to let Jesus in.
Pray friends, pray.
