Waiting...

I've been told --and I think I'm seeing -- that I'm doing well.

...and all I can say is, FINALLY.
(glory!)

For maybe the first time in a looooong time, I can see healing and growth. Recognizing patterns and ways I used to do things.  And feeling peace in who I am and how I'm made.

I saw this so clearly in recent interactions with someone.  I feel calm despite knowing their intentions for our friendship.  I feel known by my Father and I am hopeful.  God's love has been rooted and established in me and it's growing.  I see so much healing and growth in my heart regarding men and how I typically want to rush ahead.  I've been able to slow down and breathe and be.

Peace.
Be still.

A breath prayer that I find myself uttering on my way into work...
...around my roomate...
...after a long, incredibly hard day at work...
...after a high five instead of a hug goodbye...

Peace....
Be still....

I pray I would believe the generous heart of God -- that He doesn't hold back but gives fully and completely.  That I lack and will never lack for anything.  That I should ask and expect a husband, a man who loves You wholeheartedly and loves me.  My fear and doubt start rearing their ugly heads as I feel like there is no such man suited just for me.  Someone who will love all the idiosyncrasies of who I am.

So I pray --

Peace.
Be still...